Dreams of parenting: you just don't know what you don't know

When Dennis and I were planning to be parents we would sip our fluffy lattes and talk about how we would never let our children do the following:

1. Watch television
2. Play with anything plastic. It would be only handmade cool organic manual toys to provide the best landscape for learning
3. Eat sugar
4. Eat meat
5. Eat anything but organic food (no exceptions)
6. Be anything but little spiritual beings void of any organized religion and understand that life is this amazing place filled with love, love and more love

Now that Dennis and I are parents we embrace the following:

1. Television. Except we draw the line at Sopranos reruns. They’ve watched it once, what’s the use to waste valuable time watching it again?
2. They can play with anything as long as it doesn’t wake mommy and daddy up when they have had too much red wine the night before and stay away from the water if it has a plug.
3. They manage to get sugar when we are too tired to tell them no.
4. They do eat meat but only the kind of meat that is all different parts of the animal that way we can still consider them somewhat of vegetarians
5. Only organic when mommy and daddy make their quarterly bonuses since we are broke from giving them every gross large plastic structure that clutters our house allowing them to fulfill every ‘big person” fantasy they’ve ever had.
6. We signed Mia up for St. Roch preschool and were greeted by a huge poster of the Pope on our way in to register. In fact, I think he winked at me and asked for a $100.00 application fee. We are hoping maybe Jesus can instill at least one rule in their life and give them a time out on an annual basis.