On Children
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor worries with yesterday.
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I remember reading this long before the thought of children even came into my mind. I believe I was drawn to this because I grew up when none of the above applied. You were your parents children and that is the way it was...Simply, because they said so. Children really didn't have much to say until they reached early adulthood. We had to go play outside, go to another room or sit at a different table and rarely made a comment that would cause a huge response to any of the adults in the room. I asked someone at dinner ( a therapist and mother of two very well adjusted human beings) the other night how to effectively set boundaries with your children because I'm feeling a little sprucing up could help in that area..And this person said "I raised my children showing them the respect that I never received growing up as a child and always longed for." and I realized the above verse was about respecting the world of children while setting consistent boundaries. I think I'm getting it, until the next stage occurs.
It is my goal to always remember that Mia will have thoughts and ideas far away from me, but she is the person she is and I trust the power of respect enough already to know she will be just fine. I'll try as best I can to listen to her in all her infinite knowledge that someone on this earth (say 4 or 5 years) will have by that time.
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